I can’t count the thousands of times I’ve heard this statement. And I’ve heard it repeated many times in the form of “You deserve better”. The divorce rate is skyrocketing in part because of this idea. Women are believing this about their marriages. This may be in part the reason women more times are the initiators of the divorce. This is placing the dependence of their inward happiness on another human person. But that person is no better than you are. Children compare their lives to the lives of friends and feel they come up short. The problem is they always focus on the more fortunate, and furthermore only see what is on the outside.
“You deserve better.” The fact is nothing could be further from the truth! What we all really deserve for the atrocities we have committed is to die a horrible death. We were all born in sin, and we all continue in sin in varying degrees. Jesus said to break one of the commandments is to break them all. If you covet, you might as well have stolen. If you hate, you might as well have murdered, as far as the law of God is concerned. To put it another way, a person who harbors hatred is no better than a murderer to God. And it doesn’t matter if you have an excuse for the hatred or not. This has nothing to do with the other person. This is about you.
Another fact is that you have already been given more than you have earned just to draw breath on this planet. Is there anyone that can truly say they have earned their existence? No one could afford monetarily such a complex mechanism as our human body, and how could you pay for a planet to live on? Who do you owe for these things? And what makes you think others owe you anything? What have you done that makes the entire world in your debt?
What is wrong with this statement, “I deserve…” is the first word in it, the word “I”. ”I” is self. If your perspective is all about you, then you have missed the point of living. Life isn’t all about you! You need to get over yourself. True happiness can better be achieved in the outward focus. If you are going through life only seeking what it takes to please yourself, you will always be a miserable and unfulfilled person. In this mindset you are capable of spreading only misery to others.
Anything your spouse does for you, and anything your parents did or do for you, and anything anyone does for you should be considered a gift. It is better to give than to receive, is a true statement. The seed you sow will be the harvest you reap. Sow “I” and you will have to live with your miserable self. If you are expecting a harvest of love, peace, and joy, you had better begin by spreading love, peace, and joy. This is one of nature’s (and thusly God’s) natural laws. A farmer doesn’t go out into the field at harvest time expecting a harvest of wheat, when he has planted other seed, or no seed at all.
Even Job in the bible fell into the trap of thinking he deserved better. He was truly a righteous man, but over considered himself and his good works. He felt his hardship outweighed his sin. God set him straight on that account. Job began his complaining in chapter 3, then spent many chapters in self-righteousness. His friends claimed he must have sown bad seed to reap a bad harvest, but he wouldn’t believe it. Outwardly he did nothing but good to others. The problem was he inwardly took the credit.
Job 32:1 So these three men ceased to answer Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes.
Job 10:7(Job claims to be good) Thou knowest that I am not wicked; and there is none that can deliver out of thine hand.
Job 10:8 (Then Job begins blaming God) Thine hands have made me and fashioned me together round about; yet thou dost destroy me.
In chapter 24 Job laments that the unjust prosper, [and he doesn’t]. Job claims he will not speak against God, but infers God is unfair.
Job 38(Now God takes his turn to speak) 1 Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said, 2 Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge? 3 Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me. (Stand up like a man, stop your whining; now you will answer me this.) 4 Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding. (Who are you to question my authority?Tell me this since you claim understanding.)
In the last chapter, after God has finished correcting Job, he repents. Then God speaks to Job’s friends charging them that they should do the same. Notice that Job put himself in position to receive the blessings of the Lord when he prayed for his friends, the ones that rebuked him.
Job 42 6 Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes. 7 And it was so, that after the LORD had spoken these words unto Job, the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath. 8 Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job. 9 So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went, and did according as the LORD commanded them: the LORD also accepted Job. 10 And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.
Love, Peace, and Joy to Ya. Live good. Be Happy. Stop complaining. You really have nothing to complain about.