Children First? The Natural Order of the Human Family David FieldDecember 4, 2009
This writing is not a biblical study, even though everything here-in can be backed up with biblical scripture if you please. But the intention of this writing is one of a common sense approach that will work whether you are a bible believing Christian or not. The laws of nature are in effect on this earth regardless of your religious belief system.
It is thought very noble to be of the mind to sacrifice everything for the sake of our children. Many people are very proud to say that put their children above all else. This seems very selfless and pious, but is it right? We all should desire that our children attain to a higher plain than we were able to achieve, but will this attitude help to that end, or will actually hinder or even enable our children to a lower plane of existence?
Even though each person is a different and unique individual, we still do share some basic similarities and characteristics. One of the similarities is the fact that humans are basically a community creature. That means our make up is to be involved in a community of people. No one is an island, unto himself. This is proven by the fact that solitary confinement is among the worse forms of punishments. It is a punishment of the psyche. People will loose their minds in this form of punishment. I say this to build the case that there are a set of natural laws that govern our behavior to be healthy and productive members of society.
Another of these laws of nature so far as the human psyche is concerned is that there is a natural order of things. If we get things out of this natural order, things don’t work so well. One order of things is the order of a healthy family structure. When we adhere to this natural order, everyone involved is happier, not just those that are thought to be on the top of this natural order. And let’s not get confused between the terms “order” and “lesser” or more important. Women were made to feel inferior to men because of their weakness, and I don’t blame the women’s movement in their desire to bust out of that bondage. While it is true that women are the weaker of the sexes, they are not meant to be the lesser of the sexes. Equal but different, but still there is an order. It wouldn’t be natural or fair to give women the responsibility to govern and oversee the family because of certain talents divided among the sexes at conception. Women have their own burdens to bear. Let’s not heap any undue and un-natural burden upon them.
When we try to circumvent the laws of nature, things don’t work like they should. This is no different in the foods we eat. Humans weren’t designed to eat chemicals. Why so much cancer? On this topic, I’ll put forth something else provocative in today’s society. Men weren’t designed by nature to have sex with other men. Why so much sexually transmitted disease? Nature will repay those accordingly, to those trying to circumvent its natural laws. This is not God taking out his wrath upon sinners. This is nature. To all you mother-nature believers: practice what you preach. Live in harmony with mother nature, and live a healthy and happy life.
The fact that the younger a child is, the smaller that child is, is no accident of nature. I am sorry but parents need to have physical power over children to keep them out of trouble until such time as they are capable of looking out for themselves. Even horses, as do many other species, correct their offspring through the use of force. This is natural. This is not wrong or abusive. I am not advocating the use of excessive force, especially in anger. Love will stop far short of abuse. On the other hand, it is equally wrong to treat children as second-class citizens. Children are a precious gift from God that we have been entrusted with.
Spouses: keep your priorities in order. Husbands and wives alike should revere their spouses above all other, putting them first in their life. You are now married and should strive to conduct yourselves as one single harmonious unit. This allows children to grow up in a healthier environment. Children do not need to be put in charge of the family. When children always get their way first, they loose their sense of security found in the family structure. Sacrificing your spouse for the will of your children places your spouse as last in the home. If you don’t loose your spouse through divorce, you will at least loose them in spirit; in other words you will loose your spouses support, and love. The home should firstly be a loving environment.
On the subject of the natural order of the human family, one can scarcely leave out the issue of divorce, even though I have more extensive articles written on this subject. It is not a natural or healthy environment for a child to be raised in a split home. Both girls, and boys need both the mother’s and the father’s influence on their lives, and in the home; not just visits on the weekends. I’m not talking against fathers who work away during the week; this far different. These fathers still exercise authority over the home. Children need a strong authority figure that only men can naturally supply, and the motherly influence that the mother brings best. This natural balance of the strength and safety with a nurturing love brings the best sense of security. But in the case of a divorce, it is a constant battle for the control of the children’s affections. Children soon learn to play one against the other, and now the children are in charge, and out of nature’s order.